I don't understand God sometimes. Okay, most of the time but today, not only do I not understand God, I'm really mad at the way God is running this world.
A couple from our Bible Study, a wonderful, beautiful Jesus-loving couple was expecting a baby. She was 9 months pregnant. 9 freaking months. And they found out yesterday that the baby's heart stopped beating. Just like that. at 9 months they find out their baby has died. She has the nursery picked out, she is on maternity leave, they bought diapers and baby clothes and picked out names. I'm not saying a miscarriage isn't incredibly difficult but it is different. She could feel the baby move constantly, count the kicks and just sit and dream. She could have gone into labour naturally and had a healthly baby but instead she is currently in labour knowing that her baby is already gone. I can't imagine how heartbreaking that would be, how incredibly impossible it would be to have the motivation to push. Her due date is next Monday, less than a week away. She was just in for a stress test last week and we were laughing about how relaxing that is because you get juice and a magazine and you get to watch your baby's heartbeat and now that baby is gone. I can't understand this. I can't pretend that I know what to say or do in this situation, all I want to do is grieve for her, her husband and this huge incredible loss. And be a little angry at God for them.